


Hurricane

by interruptedPharos



Series: Challenge: Flood [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Drabble, I just wish they would talk more, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 08:19:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11032290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/interruptedPharos/pseuds/interruptedPharos
Summary: Drabble. Kaneki and Tsukiyama try to talk about Kanae.





	Hurricane

**Author's Note:**

> This is Drabble #7 of the challenge I made on my blog about writing a drabble for every "review" or comment on my stories that said I couldn't write TsukiKane because it "wasn't canon". Also under the title #16.

"I never knew she was your cousin."

Tsukiyama's eyesight blurs so quickly he needs a moment to steady himself. Kaneki's hand on his forearm is firm and strong but he can't really hear him say his name. How could be happening? They had met in a hallway, they had been laughing; now they were tense, one was anxious, the other overwhelmed. Two strong emotions well lightning quick and thunderous within him:  _ Run away, hate him, he killed Kanae… But this is Kaneki, Kaneki Ken, my precious, my one and only... _

_ This isn't Sasaki Haise . _

It takes him a few more seconds to compose himself, Kaneki's worried calls uncharacteristic to his ears. Tsukiyama shakes his head trying to dispel the weight on his senses, but he only manages to feel nauseous. He doesn't hear it, doesn't feel it either, when Kaneki holds both his forearms, brings him close, and steadies him. Tsukiyama feels like he's drowning; he doesn't need an anchor, he needs the storm to pass so the skies can clear. Tsukiyama knows that Kaneki is the storm, he is the embodiment of a hurricane, destroying everything in its path, and he's merely a man. A man who has lost almost everything, holding on to the dregs of the past he glorified.

Losing Kanae, the way he had, had been enough heartbreak for a lifetime. Being told about his servant's deaths, about Matsumae's death… Tsukiyama didn't know he could feel so much pain after having lost Kaneki, so many years ago. Once again, he had nothing bury, had nothing to remember them by. Only their history: his memories, forever tarnished with melancholy after that day. He also had his life, so lovingly protected by them, his family; a life that was not his own anymore. He was more than just a name, a family line, he was a will. A will to live, passed on through generations of Tsukiyamas.

But he is also a man. The worst kind of man, by any standards, for an amorous affectation makes one but a target for the vicissitudes of fate. A fool. He knows his faults; they have been made very clear in the last few weeks, and yet he can't let go. Why can't he hate him?

He hides his face in Kaneki's shoulder and clearly repeats, "It's water under the bridge..."

Kaneki shakes his head and whispers, "It's not."

Tsukiyama remembers the sweet tune of Kanae's violin and parrots back, "It's not."

Kaneki holds his breath.

Tsukiyama sees Kanae jumping after him, "You killed her... to save me."

Kaneki inhales sharply.

"She was my most beloved assistant, my most loyal friend, my cousin."

Kaneki's hands tremble as they leave Tsukiyama's forearms.

"I… do not deserve your loyalty."

Tsukiyama had seen Kaneki kill hundreds of ghouls. He had seen him torturing them, eating them, leaving their carcasses to the rats. He looked into his eyes when he stabbed him while reassuring him on top of the Luna building; he hadn't believed him. And yet… Tsukiyama huffs a bitter laugh but keeps talking to Kaneki's neck, unmoving. Here he is; here he forever will want to be.

"It has never been about that, though; surely you know that... Right?"

Kaneki doesn't move an inch; Tsukiyama has the sudden thought that he might be confessing his innermost feelings to his leader in the least appropriate situation. He lifts his head, the knight preparing to accept his fate, and is met with the sight of his King crying.

"Kaneki..?" he whispers, hesitantly. The white-haired ghoul blinks, unaware of his state or anything else, and raises both gloved hands to his face. Now Tsukiyama is the one worrying, hands hovering at Kaneki's shoulders, not knowing exactly what to do. He decides to hold him, arms around his shoulders, ushering Kaneki close. He rests his forehead to Tsukiyama's chest, arms loose at his sides..

"You can't, Tsukiyama."

The purple haired ghoul needs only a second to understand. _You can't love me_. Tsukiyama had thought that for a long time too. He had to lose him to understand; had to lose almost all of his family to understand, to earn perspective. Kanae would never know, but Tsukiyama understood him more than he knew. Tsukiyama kisses the top of his head and whispers,

"These feelings have bloomed in adversity.. You can't tear them down so easily, I'm afraid."

Kaneki hugs him tightly while he cries. Tsukiyama holds him, letting the storm run its course. Maybe, tomorrow, the sun will rise, the rain will dry up, and the flowers in their hearts will remain.

.

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of the many drabbles, one-shots, and multichapter tsukikane fics I have been writing ever since I began to receive attacks on my other stories about writing "non canon" stories. I've been updating them on Tumblr since my last update on this site (and ff.net) made my story a forum for idiot discourse.
> 
> Get this straight: This is fanfiction. I can write whatever the fuck I want and you don't have to like it. Furthermore, you don't have to even read it. I wouldn't mind your "reviews" if they at least had something to do with my writing or the plot, but just saying "Kaneki isn't gay" is not a critique. If anything, it makes me think you don't understand what fanfiction is. Plus, it sounds homophobic as fuck to say that I shouldn't be "making Kaneki gay" and that he and Touka are the only thing that is real or any of your other bullshit. 
> 
> I am usually above silly anonymous trolls in the internet, but not only have you been targeting my stories both here and on FF.net, but also my fellow "non canon compliant" colleagues. So, you think canon can stop us? Just look through all the tags in the Tokyo Ghoul listings.
> 
> Fanfiction writing is about possibilities and those possibilites are as endless as our imagination. You can keep "flaming" our stories, but this is the first and last time I'll comment on it.


End file.
